The Quick Updo for Busy Mommy

 http://www.beautylish.com/a/vcyuy/the-lazy-girls-updo


This is so me. The page calls it the Lazy Girl's Updo but really, it's so quick and can be quite sexy. It's more quick than making the bun for work. But it's not strong nor sturdy enough to stay up during workouts. I reserve that for a plain ponytail. Follow the link for more "Beautylish" articles.

Turning around

I read my daily and monthly horoscopes and apparently there's this Monster Moon approaching that may cause chaos, depending on your sign. The warning is to stay home around September 29. I only read it, half-believing because nothing significantly good nor bad ever happens like it would say..... except..... December 10 of last year was some eclipse that occurred. That day was a very low in my life. It was horrible. I was stressing over finals, I heard that my brother may be very sick with liver problems, and my Surfer Shane boyfriend texts me that he and his ex-girlfriend had been talking and may try to work things out. I was devastated. Shane came back to me a couple months later just to leave me again. That's a different story. But I still miss him like crazy and I know he knows it.
Today, I got my very first mammogram ever. "Ow!" is all I can say. But thank goodness it was quick. Still, I didn't know my boobs could stretch like that. I also had to get fasting blood work done. I didn't eat for 12 hours so they could draw blood. This was easy only because I was out cold early after early dinner the night before. I hadn't slept after my night shift because I was going to do a few things before I napped but then I received a phone call for an interview. I figured sleep can wait, it was my day off. So, this morning I got all that done early and went back home. I was thinking maybe I could get a pregnancy test done too since I was there at the lab but she told me that I needed to go to my OBGYN for that. No big deal, it was still early. Turns out, my period came a few hours later. Funny, a few people at work started theirs this week too. Even my daughter.
This past few weeks I was just depressed and moody. I tried to reach out to one old friend but she never responded and I can't understand her distance to me. It may be she doesn't understand and believes I'm negative. I don't know but she decided to never respond to any FB statuses anymore either. It's sad.
I went to breakfast Saturday morning with a bunch of coworkers but I had sent a mass text inviting a bunch of people. One coworker responds to all which triggered "James" to question who she was. He didn't know it was a mass text. When she told me, I texted him that she was my coworker. He asks me if she was hot and I responded yes very. James then proceeded to have a whole conversation with her. When I found out later I was pissed! Only because she was a friend of mine and I told him that. He continued to deny that he was flirting. But he wasn't having any conversation with me at all and he doesn't even know her. That is why I'm pissed! But she too should have just told him that that was totally inappropriate. I'm never speaking to him again. He's such an ass! Why do I end up with these kind of guys? Another person I included in that mass text was my ex Surfer Shane. He responds with "Who is this?" What another ass! He knows! I respond with Sry I forgot u don't care to keep frenz. He never responded. Why do I miss him?
Well, James is out of the picture again. He's such a jerk. Men are so clueless or just plain heartless.
A bright side came back from Indonesia surfing trip. He texted me on his way home from LAX. Let's call him Mark. Mark sometimes can look like Bradley Cooper but he has a little balding spot on the top back. He's real sweet and affectionate. He likes chick flicks. He's my age but he can hold "it" up pretty well. Mark texts me and tells me that he's back. I told him that his text made my week because it's been real crappy lately. I haven't heard back and I haven't texted. I had told him before he left that I had a boyfriend. I only did that so he wouldn't expect anything from me. But I do like him. He likes to drink though, which isn't a problem unless he calls me drunk.
Things may be turning around. The person that interviewed me yesterday used to go to the same school I did and had the same teachers. That was my advantage because he knew how hard it is to get qualified into that LVN program and how hard we worked to graduate. Thank goodness because I am terrible at interviews. After the interview I went to get the urine drug test done and get live-scanned. All in the same area. This job is going to pay almost twice what I'm making now as a CNA. I'm so happy! Now that's a sentence way overdue. I'm excited. The facility is beautiful. I'm nervous too and I want to review my common drugs and their effects. I haven't told my coworkers yet. I don't know if I will. Right now, I just want to thank God for his Blessings... He truly is a Great God!

My Own Pity Party

Isn't that what blogging is for? Much like a diary but the difference is I can share it with the world and the world can put in their two cents. Everyone has an opinion.
I should be happy. I've got my LVN license finally after all that hard work. I have a great CNA job, the hours suck but most of my coworkers are nice and we pretty much get along. I'm blessed with 3 awesome kids, food, clothing, shelter, transportation, health... We could say money can't buy happiness, but taken away, lack of money can cause the worst pains and stress ever. This economy really sucks. Bills are piling, we are pinching in every possible places we can find.
What causes depression? You see those rich and famous people self-destruct and they can have everything they want. So, why aren't they happy? Because they want more than what they have? Does it all come down to having love? I live in a house full of people, yet I can still feel so alone. That's how I felt growing up too. I had absolutely nobody to talk to. A little book is the only place I sometimes let my emotions go, where I shared my pain and tears. Here I am at 40 and feel the same way again. I have friends this time that I can talk to but I sometimes don't know how to. The pain is mentally, and it's excruciating. When I have these days, every little thing is magnified. Added up, it's explosive.
Is my mood due to PMS? Or is the world really out to get me, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much good things I do in the world. I just want to be appreciated, rewarded,.... loved.
Even typing right now, this stupid laptop is pissing me off because the cursor moves to where ever it damn feels like it. Just earlier, I was completing an online employment application and just when I completed it, my wifi dropped and all information was lost.
And I still don't have a boyfriend.
Why is it that all the guys I would like to be with are not interested and the ones that try to get my attention are totally not my type? I really am not that picky. I will admit that I was turned off by a guy because he used the incorrect form of "you're" with "your." It was just annoying. Yes, I've been told to expand my horizon but I'm not just gonna settle. I'm done with that. I deserve better!
And so, I'm alone.
It's depressing.
Growing up, my responsibility to my younger brothers kept me from committing suicide. I truly believe that. It was a very strict household and I was not loved by my parents. Right now, what's keeping me from jumping off that Coronado Bay Bridge are my 3 kids. They're my only reason for living. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle anymore, then I cuddle with my little girl and everything is all right. I'm not looking for happiness in finding a man, I just need a man to share my day, emotions with. I long for attention again. It's the little things. I feel so alone and this feeling sucks.

A day in the life...

Today was a good day. I scheduled a waxing this morning for me and my friend at "Pretty Kitty Wax". We've never been there and I've only ever had a few bikini waxes done before. My friend wanted to treat me the spa as a gift for either my birthday because she didn't know what to get me or for passing my State Board. I was very appreciative. She's a very sweet person. Afterwards, I met up with a different friend for a nooner. After that, I bought pancit palabok for lunch to take home. I then cooked up fried rice for the kids because they always come home hungry from school. Then, I picked up the kids. I got one girl ready for dance. I drove her to pick up her friend and friend's sister and took them all to dance class...... Rest...... Picked up the girls from dance, paid dance tuition for next semester registration, ate dinner, helped kids with homework, then I got ready for working the night shift... Yes, I work, but as a CNA for a healthcare employment agency. Dare I mention where I work? That, seriously, is a whole different blog in itself. But as I was almost ready to leave, I received a call from work telling me that they are overstaffed tonight and so I was cancelled. I am actually relieved because I hardly rested enough to take on a full night of work which is 10pm to 6am. Tonight was going to be my Monday, this is ok. And so, today was a good day, ending as a good night.

"Pretty Kitty" is a great place with courteous and professional employees. So much younger than I, I noticed. I didn't get the full Brazilian but I did practically get the full removal. I opted to keep a "triangle" :). It was not painful for me at all and it was quick. I feel smooth now. I highly recommend the place.They suggested I take ibuprofen about an hour before I come in, I guess that's for the sissies who can't take it. I still say that the dentist visits are where you experience the worst pain ever! Worst than giving birth. Anyway, the place also suggested that no caffeine is consumed before the appointment because it does something to the pores and makes it harder to wax. Oh ok, I was going to have my coffee or tea before my shift at work anyway.

Did I mention where I went afterwards? Ahh yes, my nooner. Let's call him James. I met James a little over a year ago. A friend of a friend from High School. And this High School friend I really didn't know, he's just friends of other of my friends from High School. And so we are Facebook "friends." So, his friend James saw me and became my "friend." Yes, that is the world of Facebook. But I digress.... I received a text last night from James. A midnight booty call text. I was already comfortable in bed. He said he was in his house alone. He lives with his sister so I guess she was out. I didn't go. That would require getting up off my pillow and also getting into the shower and driving over. But I did answer his morning text. Apparently, he didn't work today. I figured he wouldn't because he's usually in bed early for his 4am wake-up time to get ready for work. I told him after my waxing appointment I'll see him and he can tell me what he thought about the waxing job. James is short. When I stand with heels next to him, I'm taller. He's handsome, says nice things to me and is my age. A month older. He's got tattoos and pierced ears, smokes medical weed (so he says) and likes to drink. But he really is a great person. We are just different. I guess that's why we are only F-buddies. I told him I've missed him today, and he only smiled at me. Sex seems to mean more to women than it does to men. I've read that it's because it's our hormones. We get more attached. That just says to me that men are just too insensitive! It's sad and frustrating. James is a pretty good lover, but he seems like he can't help but finish quick. He says I do that to him, I guess that's flattering but doesn't do me any good... I don't want a part-time friend anymore. I long for affection all the time. Attention. A male ear to talk to and strong arms to comfort me. I want to hold hands in public and be grabbed and kissed just because... I'm still dreaming......

Today was a good day...

Birth of a Baby Blog

I just gave birth to a baby blog... haha. That's what my friend said as she helped me set this up. Well, where do I begin? At 40, of course!

I'm almost over my 4th month of being 40. How do I feel? The number makes me feel sad, but I don't really feel any different from when I was still in my 30s, and I don't really remember that anyway. I'm glad I don't have any crows feet by my eyes yet and I'm told I still look in my 20s. I attribute that to my Asian skin although I still like to moisturize every day. And this big zit on my chin may be deceiving people too :/. Zits at 40! Go figure...

Now that school is over and I've passed my State Board exam, I can concentrate on getting back into shape and fit into my old clothes again. It seems a lot harder now than it used to be though. I never had to try so hard. It's this age thing again, isn't it?

And then there's this job-hunting. I was offered to do flu clinics for very good pay. The catch is I have to have my license in my hand. My classmates have told me how unforgivably long the State is taking in sending these things out. In their defense though, I did get my passing results in less than a week. I'm just still waiting on my actual license :/. It's so frustrating. So, that made me extremely depressed today :'(. I missed out.

And so here I am. I hope to share my adventures of trying to find a job, be a busy mom, stay fit, happy, and healthy (and skinny again!) and maybe find a boyfriend... Believe me, I've met all the jerks. Or so I thought, because another jerk comes along and proved me wrong. But the right one has to be out there. One who will love me and all my faults :)