For the Face

Botanics products are what I like to use for my face. I normally love Avon but all my Avon ladies are gone or stopped selling. And so I found these at Target stores:
http://www.us.boots.com/BrandBotanics/

They use plant extracts. I love their facial cleaners, just a little drop while in the shower makes me feel fresh and clean, brightening the skin. And to keep my face from being dry, I use their moisturizer. Because I'm allergic to sun screen, I can't use the day creams because it has SPFs. I know, sucks. I just can't go out in the sun. So I use the night moisturizers.

Unhappy Anniversary

Unhappy Anniversary, Shane. I'll never forget you... Though I really wish I never met you :'(

Closing the book

Well, I did it. I texted Shane how I felt and told him it will be one year since we've met. His response, "yeah, that's weird." What a charmer, huh? Well, I knew he didn't care. I don't know why I do. I told him I just never stopped thinking about him and that I knew it meant more to me than to him and that I'll never understand but that's it's ok. It really is ok now. It takes him a day later to respond to me, making sure again that I know he doesn't care. Again, why do I? What is it about him? Just when I think I'm over him, he pops up in my head again. What happened, I still don't know. But yes, I really am done. This book is over. I hate bad endings. When I know a movie ends bad, I don't even bother watching. If only I knew some endings of some books I've read, I wouldn't have read them. They were a waste of my time, and ended up making me feel sad or angry. But I don't like being told endings, I like to feel it myself. But I only like good feelings. This feeling of this book was the worst...

Days off

Having a weird schedule, I get my days off sometimes in the middle of the week. And so I can catch up on things while the kids are at school... or I just hang out and catch up on Ghost Hunters, Walking Dead, or Halloween movies... This is a great month. I really should be productive and clean up but working nights is still exhausting me. I find I just try to catch up on sleep. Soon I think I can get the hang of it, but I just started this schedule so it'll be a while. I did try to log on for my online mandatory training thing for work, but I couldn't access it so I gave up trying.
What I wanted to do was text Shane to see if he wanted to go to a movie with me tonight. What's stopping me? Rejection. How can guys just drop you just like that? How? Why did it mean so much more for the girl? It's mind-boggling. Our 1st Anniversary of when we met would have been October 22. I'm still debating whether I should text him about it. I know he doesn't care though.
I really should try to actively find a new boyfriend but I don't feel like going out. Plus I have to save on funds, it's the Holidays coming up. The online thing is just too weird too, they're just weird. Strangers.

Holding steady

It's finally beginning to feel like Autumn... It rained, for like a second. It woke me up from my nap but I went right back to sleep. I never get enough sleep when I work nights.
I finished my first week at work, my first time with LVN responsibilities. I'm learning, I think I can get used to it. I think the schedule will work, it's unusual but at least not boring. I can do it.
Now the only thing missing is to share my celebration with a man. I don't know what I was thinking but I texted Shane, my last guy I've actually been seeing. And he texted back! I was surprised but very happy. I miss him so much. I only texted that I hope he was well and wrote my name because he's made it a point to make sure I know that he has deleted my number. He responded with "Thnx u too!" I don't know what to think of it. I shouldn't get my hopes up because he's always treated me like shit. I guess I just need help to move on...
I know something good is going to happen. It just has to...