Days off

Having a weird schedule, I get my days off sometimes in the middle of the week. And so I can catch up on things while the kids are at school... or I just hang out and catch up on Ghost Hunters, Walking Dead, or Halloween movies... This is a great month. I really should be productive and clean up but working nights is still exhausting me. I find I just try to catch up on sleep. Soon I think I can get the hang of it, but I just started this schedule so it'll be a while. I did try to log on for my online mandatory training thing for work, but I couldn't access it so I gave up trying.
What I wanted to do was text Shane to see if he wanted to go to a movie with me tonight. What's stopping me? Rejection. How can guys just drop you just like that? How? Why did it mean so much more for the girl? It's mind-boggling. Our 1st Anniversary of when we met would have been October 22. I'm still debating whether I should text him about it. I know he doesn't care though.
I really should try to actively find a new boyfriend but I don't feel like going out. Plus I have to save on funds, it's the Holidays coming up. The online thing is just too weird too, they're just weird. Strangers.